You may fall sometimes, but you're never fallen.
Thursday, July 24, 2008 10:00 pm
3rd yr


listen, ♥
HAPPY 3rd YEAR BLOG! :D
MARTHA! [:


Tuesday, July 22, 2008 11:08 am
is the love we share real or just lies?


listen, ♥
us, taking random pics and us, during mr tham's speech.


martha and mr tham. [:
unskilled meiling's photography.


martha and meiling.


chin hwee and meiling.
trying to act macho.


randommm.


gunny and martha.
i love gunny! [:


apicha and matiin.


being random.


miss chua.


medalist


chin hwee and me. [:


rebecca and martha ;











love!


10:55 am
there are times in our lives whn we have to let go


listen, ♥

sometimes, its wrong to walk away.

haha,
i'm finally online.
i didnt go to sch today.
sick sick sick. ):
blahhh,
it sucks to be sick luhs.
but oh well.

omg,
i super hate her luhs.
wtf wtf wtf.
i wish she dies like now.
wtf wtf wtf.
so suck up,
so die luhs.
go and die!
rot in hell luhs.

haya,
who cares luhs.
nt my prob.
dun break people's relationship and family luhs.
tmd.
super shameless bitch.
you shld just DIE!
you disgust me.

yet to update track and field blog.
no mood.
lololol.
oh well.

nth much to update or blog abt.
will be updating track and field victory dinner pic
and rebecca bday celebration pic. [:
yes,
all together.
lolol.

IF ONLY I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH.

the forgotten.

MARTHA! [:


Saturday, July 12, 2008 10:19 pm
little things give you away


listen, ♥
cause we lost it all.

i'll be uploading pictures taken at mr tham's hse.
on wednesday i think. [:



tham en yi. [:
super adorable + hyper active boy!


LAOGONG! :D
meiling and martha.
5 years and still counting. [:


meiling and enyi. [:

thats all. [:
i didnt wanna upload too much.
its a chore. [x

WHN GOODBYE SEEMS TO BE THE HARDEST WORD.

i gotta go my own way.

MARTHA! [:


7:53 pm
jealousy is a scary feeling


listen, ♥

love like never before.

i'm so bored
and sick of everything.
seesh,
life's like a torment,
ripping me into pieces. ):
its a drag. ):

okayys,
in a few days
nationals is going to be ovr.
booohooohooo.
it means boring lessons all ovr again
and i carnt leave sch early.
-roar-
that sucks.

sch has been a drag
and i really wanna get out of the sch.
I HATE SCH TO THE MAX!
I SWEAR!

life hasnt been WOW
but its been tolerable.
-drats-
its like hw long must i continue to live this way.
i'm falling apart
and i carnt feel my heart beating.

damn,
i still feel so broken.
i feel like an eff-ing LOSER luhs. ]:
like aft so long,
i carnt even achieve anything. ]:
oh well,
life eff-ing goes on.
and i just have to put on a brave front
and let others think i'm happy that way i am.
i'm happy with life
but the truth is the other way round.

i fake a smile so you wun see.

i'm nt lying to others,
i'm only lying to MYSELF.
and its been hard on me alright.
i knw what i want.
i knw what i need.
awwww,
i make an eff-ing good liar. [:

the truth i hide frm others
is the truth i can nvr hide frm myself.
why does life have to be so cruel to me?
what i see is nt what i want.
what i have is nt what i need.
whats's life all abt?
if its out to make me feel sad and insecure,
you've done it.
i'm very very sad and miserable.
it seems to be that all i think abt these days,
is death.
cause death seems to be the only way out,
for ME.

okay,
so we have to plan for victory dinner
and i'm lost.
theres so much to do
within so lil time.
i hate last minute things.
-shucks-
think marty,
THINK!

i have so much of hmwrk pilling up
and i dun have the motivation to do it.
o lvl,
please nvr come.
let me die first?
-shurgs-

okay,
i need to do my hmwrk.
i'll probably do it ltr
or wake up early tmr morning.

okay,
i love rebecca. [:
hahahas. [x
i love gunny too. [:
hahahas. [x
i love meiling toooo. [:
hahahas. [x

i wish i was deadd. ]:
4 years is too long a wait
for the end of the world.
let it be now,
why bother waiting for 4 years?
man kind dun deserve to live at all.

you just have no idea hw much i hate myself.
you have no idea hw much more i hate my life.
you dun knw,
you'll nvr knw.

so what if i rant infront of you?
does it really mean you knw hw i feel.
are you even connecting and in touch with me?
i doubt so.
you take all my rants as stories.
you take my rantings for granted.
you think my life is a fairytale.
you've nvr respected me,
so why shld i respect you?

i hate myself for being such a hyprocrite.
i hate all of you
but i have to appear as if i like all of you.
i hate it whn i make your day.
i love it whn i ruin your day.
i sound like an eff-ing bitch
but well,
thats what i am.
its a fact that you've nvr discovered ovr the years
and i'm sorry if you realise it only nw
because it seems to late.
no doubt i've taken advantage of you,
havent you taken advantage of me?

be realistic,
do you really think people would befriend you
cause you are yourself?
hello,
you're living on planet earth and nt jupiter!
where true love exist,
where stories are told.
please luhs!

i knw ranting doesnt make me any better
but its the way i present myself.
so whats your problem?
just shut your traps if you have nothing nice to say
because anything you say doesnt make sense
nor does it bring any difference in this hostile world.

look at things.
on the surface,
they are beautiful.
but on the other hand,
can you ensure that it'll be like that forever?
NO!
its the truth and a well known fact.
live with it!

sometimes i wonder why human are so stupid
as nt to understand that we dun take control ovr our lives.
we are all manipulated in a way or another.
its just that we do nt knw.
yes,
i'm stupid and its a well knwn fact.

that "oh so beautiful" world.

i want a whole new life.
i promise to treasure every other minute of it.
but i knw its impossible.
fark life and all its preachings.

ohhhhh,
i went to church today. [:
the priest was AWESOME! :D
i swear.
lolol.
he's damn funny
and he kinda made my day better luhs.
"i'm nt trying to be funny by squinting,
but the sun is glazing into my eyes."

life seems to unpredictable
and so i really really
wish, hope and pray
that i can die soon.

okay,
i think i'm fatttttttt
cause i'm eating but nt exercising!
damn,
i must study hard and do well.

i swear i wanna do well for o lvls.
i swear i'm trying,
but nt hard enough.
i swear i want to be at my best all the time.
i swear i wanna improve.
but i really dun have the motivation and drive to.
i'm really tired.
i'm exhausted.
i'm trying to convince myself to live on.
the mind is willing but the flesh is weak.

i really really wanna have stunning results
but i'm nt motivated enough.
everyone give me encouragement
but no one motivates me enough.

oh as you knw
rantings are usually for me to make myself
feel better and much happier,
if you have a problem.
its tooo bad.
you can look for me with that
"i'm so petatic" look
but do you think i'll care?

i'm lost.
i'm confuse.
i'm nt going on any longer.
i dun wanna start my nonsense
and make myself even more miserable.

goodbye.

you think you knw
but you seriously gt no idea.

CAUSE THEIR YOUR FRIENDS.

she will be loved.

MARTHA! [:


Sunday, July 06, 2008 9:33 pm
i've sunk too deep to ever climb bck again


listen, ♥

tell me thats nt another dream.

yay!
i get to see voda tmr
& get my hair cut! :D
damn happy yo! [:

i miss voda
& am desprate to get my hair cut! [:
wheeeees.

going to run with voda tmr. [:
sounds like funnnn.
its been a longggg time yo!
i miss voda tons and gallons.
hohoho.

changed blogskins.
erm erm erm,
i'm nt in perfect mood,
dun irritate me please.
i'll flare up
& i knw i dun want to.

i knw i carnt have the best of bth worlds
so i'm makin do with everything i've got.

doing hmwrk tmr
aft running with voda. :D

love love love.

GO HAMILTON! :D

i'm bleeding inside. ):
i wanna feel alive so badly.
i'm losing it all.

i've regret holding on too much
cause i've lost it all
and nth i say would change the fact
that has happened.
the inevitable has happened
and i've tried so hard
but cannot change the harsh fact.
thanks for the memories. [:

DEEP DOWN INSIDE,
IT HURTS SO BADLY.

I GUESS THIS TIME IT REALLY MEANS GOODBYE.

a simple word can hurt me so hard.

MARTHA! [:




사랑해♥


MARTHA KATHLEEN CLARE SOH RUILING!

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Partner-in-Crime ♥
February ♥
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Tiffany Hwang 티파니 ♥



Reminisce,

Everything you want, is on the other side of fear.